Many of the responses are on the same page about setting up a food-time routine and basing other activities around it. The idea of prioritizing the baseline needs makes sense to me too, so I would add that scheduling nap time (if the children are in the appropriate age range) is on that same tier of priority as food time. Everything else can…

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Plenty of great responses in this thread, but yours is the one that resonates with me the best. Viewing the situation as you and the parent versus the problem will allow for an easier solution than trying to view it as you versus the parent. Empathy first, then problem-solving.