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Navigating Difficult Conversations as Early Childhood Educator
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Whenever I have to do a hard conversation with a parent or a child I always make sure I have another person there with me to cover my own but but also to help me stay grounded and I think about what I’m gonna say before I go into the meeting
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I am always calm and respectful I always sandwich issues start with good then the problem end with good
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i always start by complimenting them first as to disarm them and I will you we language as so that dont feel like i am blaming them and i always make sure that i am activily listening when we they respond
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I had an argument with my daughter about scheduling. We had a appointment at 12 o’clock. My daughter said that I said 2 o’clock. She got angry and said, “Why did you say 2 o’clock?” But I didn’t say 2 o’clock, she misheard and got angry at me, which made me angry. But I calmly said, “I said 12 o’clock, but I think you misheard. That’s understandable. I’m sorry you had to rush to get ready. I’ll be more clear next time.” I felt my daughter’s anger dissipate.
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When having difficult conversations I try to use the sandwich effect of a positive in the childs day, then what could be taken as a negative and add another positive. I also use age-appropriate language and try to keep a positive tone of voice
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When I need to have rough conversations, I try to always be empathetic to what a parent may be going through when they come to me with any concern. Same with coworkers. I also try to always keep my voice level, never “speaking up/shouting” unless someone asks me to because they have hearing problems. I try to always stay polite and try to sort out any unkind language for the main points of the issue. This makes it a lot easier to resolve problems.
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Age appropriate language for children and positive reinforcement. For adults collaborative solutions when it comes to sensitive topics.
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When speaking to a parent about something difficult or sensitive I usually ask if they have time to speak in the office or find an area where there is not a lot of traffic then inform them of the situation.
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When speaking with a child around a difficult situation, I typically describe the behavior observed and ask the child what they can tell me about it. This leaves their response completely open as I have asked what they did, why they did it and no judgment or consequence has been stated. I simply want to know what information they have to share about it to begin the conversation. Once the child responds, I may ask clarification questions and encourage the child to continue sharing. Once the child has completed their input, I thank them for sharing and let them know that I believe I understand the situation better. From that standpoint I calmly communicate expectations and offer to help them be with ways to be successful.
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I usually start with good news and don’t say the negative conversations as negative as they are, and I know that I am to remain calm during every conversation and have a private space with them so they know that whatever they say is confidential.
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I like to find a time of day that best works for the other person. For example, for parents I find pick up is a better time than drop off when the are in a time limit to get to work. Finding a place that is quiet and free of distractions. For hard conversations I like to sandwich the difficult between positives.
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I always try and remain friendly, smile when it’s appropriate, and communicate clearly and politely. I try to be patient ans understanding, and frame things as observations rather than assertions.
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When I approach difficult conversations with families I try to also include what went well that day. With my kids I always check for understanding, “I hear you saying this, am I understanding you correctly?” in order to ensure it remains a two way conversation.
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When talking with parents, I find it important to create ideas with them and allow positive feedback. My boss likes to state it as a positive sandwich. You approach the conversation with a positive, then give the lesser of the positives, and then reevaluate.
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That’s great about the “positive sandwich” I even like the name of this. I believe this is the same way I try to communicate effectively with my parents.
