[Chloe]

Try to reduce the frequency of tantrums by removing those things that tend to be triggers, create a calm environment, make things “fun” to encourage engagement.

[Katra Cavannaugh]

The biggest teachable moment is after the child is calm. That is when I can talk about feelings, problem-solve, and practice better ways to communicate needs. When children feel safe, understood, and supported, they are much more willing to learn from difficult moments. For me, the goal is not to stop every tantrum. The goal is to help children build the skills they need to handle big feelings more successfully the next time they face them. One of the biggest things that has helped with my son is that I model what I need to see from him. I tell him, “I am overwhelmed. I need to take 5 breaths. Would you like to take some with me?” Sometimes he won’t. And that is okay. But showing him what we can do besides having a tantrum is so important. In fact, this morning he was frustrated buckling his seat belt, and it had also locked on him. He initiated 5 breaths all by himself. It has taken 3 years. But we have gotten there. Patience is key!