Learner Anna
LearnerForum Replies Created
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I don’t work with infants or toddlers, I work with older pre-school age kids and school-age kids. These kids are generally old enough to have more complex conversations about emotion, but may occasionally still have emotional outbursts. I try to remain calm and comforting when a child throws a tantrum, expressing understanding and sympathy for their frustrations, even if I have to ultimately hold the line. I also try to challenge kids to think about how other kids feel in different situations, or how *they’d* feel if something happened to *them*.
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To be honest, I’m having a difficult time remembering a specific instance. The times it has worked don’t linger in my memory. I am mostly recalling the times that redirection did not work, because the thing I attempted to redirect to failed to appeal to the child. Kids can get easily stuck on wanting a *specific* toy or *specific* game with *specific* people, and trying to point them to another one just frustrates them.
I suppose one strategy I have used a few times is reminding kids that the rules of games can be changed to become more inclusive. For example, if a child wants to join a game of pretend, but the other kids say it’s only a 2-person game, asking the children to make it a 3-person game instead. Or if the kids say the new player must play a baby, but the new player wants to play a dragon, suggesting they play a baby dragon.
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Some of the strategies I’ve been working on developing as I work with kids prone to tantrums is to keep in mind what things are important to stick to my guns about (rules put in place for safety reasons, interacting kindly with others, etc.), and what things are okay to abandon at the first sign they aren’t working (finishing an art project, etc.). If it’s not really important, and it’s clearly upsetting a child a lot, there’s no reason to keep trying to make the child endure it.
I also always try to keep my own voice and body language calm and soothing, and even get *more* calm the more worked up a kid gets. I try to get down to their level so I’m not intimidatingly tall and distant, and offer gentle comforting touch if they’re open to it. I know that when emotions are that high, logic and rational thinking are not possible, so I try not to reason or explain or fix things until they’re calmer. I try not to ever tell a kid to stop crying, especially little boys, regardless of my personal feelings on their outburst. Rather I let the expression of feeling run its course and release the calming brain chemicals it is designed to do, while also trying to make sure the kid feels safe and heard.
Even if ultimately it’s something I cannot bend on (safety rules, etc.), I try to make sure the child knows that I see and understand and sympathize with the fact that they are upset by it.
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This is still an area I am learning about, and finding effective techniques has been somewhat difficult so far. Especially in the heat of the moment. What I know of so far is to help remove them from the stressful situation, either by allowing them to be by themselves (within view) for a bit, or giving them a brief ‘time out’ not as a punishment but just to let them cool down for a bit. Ask them about what happened and why, give ample time for responses especially if they’re crying. If they don’t seem like they can articulate clearly, ask yes or no questions and let them just nod or shake their head in response. Verbally empathize with how they’re feeling, such as “X is frustrating, isn’t it? I understand why you feel angry about it.” And when a child *does* verbally express their emotional needs and sets a boundary, respect it without complaint!
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The written guidance policies would be helpful for deciding how to handle situations where children consistently do not listen to verbal instruction or redirection, or repeatedly/persistently engage in behaviors they know are not allowed to the point of becoming disruptive to others. It would also be helpful when one observes other teachers using guidance and behavior correction methods that one believes are ineffective or harmful to the children but do not rise to the level of reportable abuse.
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An approved crib, infant bed, bassinet, or play pen with a firm mattress that fits snuggly against the sides with no gaps, and no objects in the bed/crib such as a blanket, pillow, bumpers, or toys.
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I would highlight our staff to child ratio and how it allows us to keep eyes on kids to ensure they are staying safe; our age-appropriate toys that don’t have pieces that younger kids could swallow; our nap mat procedures to keep kids’ mats clean; our hand washing procedures; and our snack table cleaning procedures.
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Keying into the kinds of interests kids have can help provide clues as to what sorts of learning they may benefit from. For example, my school-age after school program is fairly small (at most about 7 kids, usually about 4 or 5) and mostly boys. They are at an age and temperament where if they aren’t interested in an activity, they simply won’t engage with it, which can make it difficult to find ways to teach them particular skills and lessons. They are highly imaginative, but also their interest in games is very oriented towards the sorts of things they play in video games at home, namely combat and violent themes. I’ve been trying to find a way for them to explore and develop empathy skills, which their interests normally don’t lend themselves to. However, I am in the process of working on introducing table top RPGs to the classroom. The two oldest kids have already expressed interest and enjoyment of Dungeons and Dragons, and while that particular game is a bit too complicated for the younger kids in the class, I know of another game system that was specifically designed for ages 4-10. The game will hopefully appeal to their interests in imaginative play, adventure, and ‘fighting bad guys,’ but will also provide an avenue for me to slip in lessons about empathy in the form of creating adventure storylines that are better solved through seeing things from the opponent’s perspective, and having a conversation where they teach the opponent to see things from *their* perspective, rather than simply fighting them.
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By figuring out where each child is developmentally, teachers can adjust their curriculum to cater to the students’ current level, exercising the skills they have recently learned and challenging them to grow to the next level.
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Although we don’t currently serve children under 2 1/2, we are a play-based program and we typically keep a wide variety of possible toys and activities available for kids to choose from, allow lots of free play time, and try to spend plenty of time getting onto kids’ level and engaging with them as they play. This can provide a lot of serve and return opportunities, as it lets the kids roam through possible activities and key into the ones that interest them, so they can create ‘serves’. Then the teachers who are there watching and engaging will see it and ‘return’. We do this even with older kids in various ways, verbally taking notice of what they’re doing, being excited for them and praising their work, asking questions about it, having conversations about the topic with them, offering help when they struggle and/or giving it when they ask for it, playing along with them, etc.
